I  am officially 24 years old on 09.05.2009.  I am no longer 23 years old. One year ago, i was still a very naive innoncent girl. And a year ago i was still hoping he would come back to my life, but now i am happy he is happy with his new girl who is better than me. And i am very excited for him to have a girl who has the same passion as him unlike me. I know all of my friends hated and knowing he doesnt deserve me.  He may not be the best looking guy out there or fits into any of my dream guy criterias, but he is sure a damn nice guy who will always be there for me whenever i needed him. SOmetimes, i misses his smses and his msges to find out where am i or what im doing. Sometimes, it occured into my mind that what would it be if i didnt let him go and kept him by my side. Would things be different now?  I have no idea. But one year later, i am seeing a guy who is also a total contrast of all the guys i have dated. I enjoyed this relationship at the moment whereby i am not entirely commited to him and i can do whatever i want as long i didnt 'curang' again. HAha. It was a 2 weeks mistakes. I have awake and i will not make the same mistake which almost destroy our relationship. And i am glad that nite i bump into him with my peeps. Auntie Soo ting totally hit me with a reality on my face with' whats wrong with you' face. Haha.

Telling truth, i am at office now. I am filled with loads of paper works and i am so lazy to do anything. I guess i am bored with the same repititive job everyday. I think this boredom will lead me to a resignation zone sooner or later. I am already started to look around in Jobstreet for potential applications. It's a sign my heart has left this company and by June if i still dont get whatever i want, i will tender. I have calculated my salary and i dont think its sufficient to cover all of my heavy expenses escpecially allowances to my parents.  Do not ask me how much i gave them. sighz. Im bored of discussing this matter to ppl. All i can say that i am not that fortunate like my friends who have understanding and alway be there parents. sighz.  I was pretty upset on Mother's day when my dad didnt have the initiative to bring my grandmother out for dinner. Yes, he had his early dinner in Kampar, Perak but he shouldnt just leave my grandma just like that. My grandma was very upset and i cant stand seeing my grandma being sad.  If my uncle still alive, he would be there to take my grandma out to shop and eat anything she wants. Everything changes when he passed away. My grandma no longer smile the same smile 4 years ago. The only thing i can redeem this terrible mother's day is to take her out for dinner. Although its not a very high class place, but i know my grandma is happy. i know she loves me as much as i love her.  I can never imagine my life without my grandma. Sighz. And when that day comes, i might fall into depression once again.  Anyway, i was very very angry at my dad for treating my gradnma like that. At that moment, i wan to let them know, i can do exactly same thing to them like what they did to my grandma now. What comes around, goes around.  My mom made a big fuss of me taking my gradnma out to dinner but doesnt she see the problems? Its not i do not want to take my mom out but she has to understand, its my responsibility to fulfil my grandma feelings when her own child is not taking her out on mother's day. Moreover, i am very shame to say that my mom is a filial daughter in law.  I feel ashame to see what she did to my grandma at times and i get very angry. Which is why until today i still very hesitate to communicate with them.

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